Let Alone Wiped Clean, Let's Start With A Whole New Slate

With everything that has been going on lately this blog has completely gone out of my mind. With thanks to a friend who has been sharing his blog with me lately, I've decided it's time to start committing to it again.

One of the most significant features of the past couple of months has been the therapy I've receiving for my depression. It's helped me learn a lot about myself and where my insecurities and issues stemmed from. It's now just a case of learning to change my mentality into a more positive outlook, and to stop "emotionally self harming" by blaming negative that happens to me on myself.

I've mentioned several times before the issues I have with my job, but with thanks to the inspiration from my internship at the Desgin Museum in their press office, I am now actively looking for a new job. I'm worried this may be a poor judgement as no job appears to be safe at the moment, but I feel if I don't make this change it will only continue to grind me down.

Also until very recently I've been unsure as to whether or not I wanted to start dating again or not. I've started talking to guy that has kind of wowed me and I'm unsure if his suggestion to meet is for the same reasons I'm wanting to, but it has made me realise just how much I miss the companionship. Even if we just become friends, I'm grateful he's helped me come to this realisation.

He suggested that we meet on Thursday (after several messages back and fourth trying to narrow down the best day) but he had to rain check at the last minute as he couldn't get out of his original plans. I'm hoping this wan't a fob off as he seems quite genuine and honest, it was also his suggestion to meet after all, I guess only time will tell!

I'll write more over the weekend about the past couple of months, this was just my warm up....

Quick Update!

I've been lame at updating this, but I've got lots to say, including planning a trip (see map below) details to follow this weekend. I hope.

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UPDATE PENDING!

I'll be overhauling and updating this blog in the next couple of days!

Long time no see

Lot's has been happening in the past couple of weeks so I've not had a lot of time to write on this, I finally managed to make some progress in my career by getting an Internship with the Design Museum in the Press & Comms. dept.

I've met a lot of nice new people recently as well which has helped me learn a lot about myself. In my mind I've set a date in my head to actually go and some travelling next summer, even if its just for a few weeks. I will go to South America then finish off with a few of the big US cities or go to Borneo to see Oranutans in the wild, I've had to put this off for the past 3 years in a row so I need to stop procrastinating or finding excuses and just go, even if it means doing it by myself.

I'm also going to be some volunteer work with a charity called Pace, this will help me professionally but it's also a charity I feel is deserving of some of my spare time. House viewing is now in full swing so hopefully a new abode will be sorted very soon.

A few other bits to mention but I will write about those separately over the next couple of days.

Photographs and poetry

Have a look at one of my Photo's along side a beautiful poem by Jacqueline Williams Bourgeois of "Cords and Threads" here. Happy to see my amateurish work put to such good use!

You can see more of my work on my photography blog

Rage, Socialising and Culture

I've been making a lot of important decisions and changes over the past couple of weeks and put the wheels in motion to kick start my career change. The house hunt is now in full swing and I'm continuing with the mission to get in shape.

I've also been attending a couple of social and networking evenings, one in particular was run by the BBC LGBT where I met some very interesting and friendly people who I hope I will be able to stay in touch with both on a personal and professional capacity.

On Monday this week I attended a discussion and social group called TwentySomething which is run by the charity PACE. Some of the guys from the group I've been going to on a Friday came along as well so it was nice to see some familiar friendly faces.

Each month they concentrate on a specific topic, this month was all on self-esteem. It was quite therapeutic to share personal thoughts and feelings on this with a variety of men from different back grounds but also quite unsettling to reveal insecurities at the same time.

We also briefly discussed the topic of why a lot of men, especially gay men, struggle to express and show their true feelings. A book called "The Velvet Rage" was recommended to us if we wanted to read up on the potential issue further. This isnt really an issue I feel I have myself but I know plenty of people who do, and as I have an interest in psychology I may add this to my reading list.

I feel like escaping the City this weekend, making use of my camera a bit more and may be getting some culture. I may also go to the Biggin Hill Air Show with a work friend which will bring back some fond childhood memories. I'll share my latest pictures what ever I do I'm sure.

Updates

I've now updated my "About Me" & "Connect" pages - take a nosey!